Ringing in the New Year
Working has been going very well for my husband, business is literally booming. For me, its slow and steady but at least it is steady and I feel blessed to have the job I do have and the ability to have an income, made from home, to not only feel as if I am participating in paying part of our bills but in life itself and helping to create and make our dreams come true by helping with some of the 'backing' needed to bring those dreams and visions to life.
Somehow, someway, in some sorts, I have felt as if I have been going through some changes in my life lately. I honestly am not sure what is going on, but as they go through my mind, I am either speaking of the ideas and feelings with my husband or my daughter or my best friend at the time, whomever I am with or speaking to at the time of my mind wandering as to the who, whats and possibilities of the 'whowhats' the 'future' and more lol! Many people may be very surprised to know how deep my husband can get into a conversation and how very deep he really does think. Get him into a philosophical discussion about the evolution of the earth, mankind, aliens, etc and the conversation can literally go for hours lol! We see so many things eye to eye but on the same hand we do have our share of content we will never see eye to eye on, but those subjects that one can take or leave and won't make or break any day with the ideas that we do 'not' agree lol! In fact it is healthy to have some things you do not agree upon, or else, it would seem that life would get boring not having different opinions or thoughts on different subject matters. It might just be me (and him) but it works for us lol!
I feel a little lost as of late (well for a few months I have) and I contribute it to several things, all of which are my own fault on the most part and could have been avoided but I become ...lazy or just 'whatever' with my thinking that in time, all things will work out the way they should without having an active part in what is going on. For this, I have put my writing on hold on the most part of the past several months except a few poems here and there, I have put off meditating, which for me, used to be a BIG part of my life to help clear my thoughts and help me get back in touch with nature and my own inner sanctuary. I have put off thinking of me and what I need and how I think things should be done and 'going with the flow' allowing others to wayside me to do this, think that and just been plain out lazy in how I have run my own life. Doing so, I have not been 'at peace' with my own self, mind, body or spirit. I really need to change how I do things and I have a feeling those things will be happening slowly over the next month or two; it has to because something has to give or my whole life (within itself; within me) will just come to a blah slowdown that will be almost unbearable to handle. I've allowed myself to become too bogged down with what if's, to get preoccupied with other things that honestly are not as important as I have put their importance to be, allowing my mind to wander and not even in creative, good ways, in lazy thinking, games, facebook, craigslist, ebay, wander wander wander.
Now don't get me wrong, I love facebook for what it has done for me; reconnect me to all of my family on the most part. We are almost like 'under one roof' and it is good to see what is going on in their lifes even though none of us live near each other. I have some very dear friends on there whom I only speak with a couple, on a daily or weekly basis and that should be daily for each one of them and its my own fault I don't make time and make my schedule to fit in everything I know can be done on each and every given day, if I put my mind to those things, including my work. Even my work has suffered, the amount of money I make, based on my slow, oh well, hmmm type of attitude towards everything. That is one thing that I will be working on more lately, as well as more blogging and more writing, more getting the things done that I WANT to get done in the time frames that I expect myself to do them in. I know some people say, you are only human and there are only but so many hours in the day and this is true but I am and have always prided myself in being a multi tasker, being able to get multiple things done in a short amount of time and still have time to cuddle in the evening with my hubby and have time to 'surf' the net on items and articles and information that seems important and pertinent to how I am feeling or that I am in search of on any given day. Those are the things that will be changing in the next few months for sure.
The next biggest thing will be me getting back to me meditating. I cannot even explain how my meditations used to help clear my mind and thoughts and make me feel so much more whole and able to deal with everything that came my way. I have not for a very long time, claimed to be any form of religion, but I do believe, in something bigger than us all and can see how all religions and beliefs seem to merge from one to the other in a form that seems to create a rainbow of love and harmony without having 'labels'. I was raised as a Christian and see nothing wrong with Christianity if you choose to believe as such and I have many GREAT friends who are Jewish and completely and honestly, accept them as who they are and their beliefs just make them amazing people. I have studied Buddhism, Methodist, Hinduism and Wiccan lifestyles, all of which have had their own form of impact on my life. I am eclectic in my thinking and believe that all of us are encompassed into one form of energy that we all live and feed off of; the good energies around us make us feel GREAT and the bad energies around us make us feel BAD and the worse people are around us, the worse we feel, the worse habits we fall into, pessimism and surliness. Those good energies make us feel alive and well, like life is so worth living! All of that being said, there have only been a few religions that I have found that have been all encompassing into accepting all people and as if they are all part of life and need to be accepted and 'felt' and lived through and not condemned because they are what or who they are. I am sure there are others but the biggest one I have found, and don't gawk or squeak or even start fussing if you don't agree without having at least read up on the religion, all forms of it, before passing judgement on me, but the one I have found to give me the most peace, is Wiccan, no, not 'pagan' but Wiccan. The basics of their beliefs is "An Ye Harm None, Do What You Will", meaning don't hurt others and live your life. How simple and plain forward is that? I mean really? And how easy is it to truly live like that, to live for a life that you do your best to not hurt others and doing so, that allows you to live a life of happiness and prosperity and to be able to see the beauty of all that surrounds us. The whole Wiccan rede is as follows:
Bide within the Law you must, in perfect Love and perfect Trust.
Live you must and let to live, fairly take and fairly give.
For tread the Circle thrice about to keep unwelcome spirits out.
To bind the spell well every time, let the spell be said in rhyme.
Light of eye and soft of touch, speak you little, listen much.
Honor the Old Ones in deed and name,
let love and light be our guides again.
Deosil go by the waxing moon, chanting out the joyful tune.
Widdershins go when the moon doth wane,
and the werewolf howls by the dread wolfsbane.
When the Lady's moon is new, kiss the hand to Her times two.
When the moon rides at Her peak then your heart's desire seek.
Heed the North winds mighty gale, lock the door and trim the sail.
When the Wind blows from the East, expect the new and set the feast.
When the wind comes from the South, love will kiss you on the mouth.
When the wind whispers from the West, all hearts will find peace and rest.
Nine woods in the Cauldron go, burn them fast and burn them slow.
Birch in the fire goes to represent what the Lady knows.
Oak in the forest towers with might, in the fire it brings the God's
insight. Rowan is a tree of power causing life and magick to flower.
Willows at the waterside stand ready to help us to the Summerland.
Hawthorn is burned to purify and to draw faerie to your eye.
Hazel-the tree of wisdom and learning adds its strength to the bright fire burning.
White are the flowers of Apple tree that brings us fruits of fertility.
Grapes grow upon the vine giving us both joy and wine.
Fir does mark the evergreen to represent immortality seen.
Elder is the Lady's tree burn it not or cursed you'll be.
Four times the Major Sabbats mark in the light and in the dark.
As the old year starts to wane the new begins, it's now Samhain.
When the time for Imbolc shows watch for flowers through the snows.
When the wheel begins to turn soon the Beltane fires will burn.
As the wheel turns to Lamas night power is brought to magick rite.
Four times the Minor Sabbats fall use the Sun to mark them all.
When the wheel has turned to Yule light the log the Horned One rules.
In the spring, when night equals day time for Ostara to come our way.
When the Sun has reached it's height time for Oak and Holly to fight.
Harvesting comes to one and all when the Autumn Equinox does fall.
Heed the flower, bush, and tree by the Lady blessed you'll be.
Where the rippling waters go cast a stone, the truth you'll know.
When you have and hold a need, harken not to others greed.
With a fool no season spend or be counted as his friend.
Merry Meet and Merry Part bright the cheeks and warm the heart.
Mind the Three-fold Laws you should three times bad and three times good.
When misfortune is enow wear the star upon your brow.
Be true in love this you must do unless your love is false to you.
These Eight words the Rede fulfill:
"An Ye Harm None, Do What Ye Will"
Truly amazing right?! Makes me feel all warm and happy inside just by reading it all over again, each and every time. How good life could be if more people followed such thinking and guides and that is all it is, a guide to how to life happily, without hindering others or hatred or the hurting of others. Isn't that what we all want? And before you go into gasps and thoughts of 'oh no' or 'she's doomed to go to hell' etc. I do NOT believe I am a 'witch' and I do not practice any form of 'magic' etc. I am more like what you hear when people say, oh, they are a 'tree hugger'. I believe that the earth gives and takes away, that it has what we need to be happy, the souls living here and beyond (and yes I do believe in life after death and in reincarnation) give us an energy to live from, learn from and grow from, on each and every given day. I do NOT believe in hell because I feel that is a man made belief to help 'control' mankind from doing bad in a large sense of the form, but i do believe that we can put ourselves in our own 'living hell' by falling into the traps of those who think and do bad/evil in this world. But all of this is the reason why my meditation is so important to me. I can feel connected back to the very energy that feeds us all, the souls of you all who are loving and kind just by laying down or sitting and being completely encompassed into just that energy. That good energy is not just good, it is GREAT, it is AMAZING, it makes me feel complete and I so need that and will be regaining that yet again, slowly over the next few months. I am going to also try to avoid those people, as much as possible, who feel like 'energy vampires' and those who speak of themselves and their problems as if they are the only things important and when I speak, make me feel as if my problems are just not important, ignored or just looked over because their thinking is stuck on themselves and only on their problems or thinking at the time. It drives me insane when I speak to people who do that, only focus on themselves 75, 90 and sometimes 100% of the time. Why talk to me if that is all you are going to do? I don't have time for people in my life who do not consider my feelings ,thoughts and problems as well. I accept people as i see them, as they are and how they treat me and depending on how I am treated, will be making my decisions on whether or not I will be spending time with those people who do me like that. So if you find me avoiding you, think of our conversations, have they been one sided on the most part, have they been all about 'you, you you'? Have you had time to find out about me and my life ,truly? To make sure I am ok too, not just 'talk to me' and make me feel a bit 'used' for being in your life? sighhhh.....
Ok, well I think this is more than enough for the start of my new year, updates and feelings. I will most definitely be back again soon. I hope to be able to update at least once a week, if not more, sharing our life, love and everything we have to share and give with all of you, throughout the whole year plus! To those of you who took the time to read my blog, thank you and I wish you all a very great day and a very great year!